single at last...

[m44ic]

ok I am finally single after a one and a half year relationship, we always argued a bit more than we should have and it really started to get sour the last few weeks. It was what you could call a long distance relationship, ok not really we just went to different schools. She was one of those girls who has SERIOUS mood swings, omg did she ever. when I would come over and pick her up at the end of the day she would be a raging beehoch to everyone untill she ate, then after that she was an angel. And the smallest things that I did always pissed her off, it was getting to be rediculous. plus she had cheated on me,.....twice. So I said enough is enough, I mean when we were going out we only saw each other on the weekends and she didnt have any friends so she always had to be with me, it was getting to the point were I couldnt see my friends, I couldnt work cause she would get pissed and most importantly I couldnt work on my car . And because she had anxiety issues she was always depressed and would just take it all out on me. I did the best I could to be simpathetic and understanding but after a while I just couldnt take it anymore. My friends and family who had witnessed it first hand dont know how I put up with it for so long. So after one night when she went off on me cause I told her I wanted to hang out with my friends for once, I said thats it, its over. I felt sad and relieved at the same time, I think it will take a little time before I am completely over her. Then a week after we had broken up she calls me on a saturday night at 2AM, piss drunk, and tells me that she was messing around with people and she had been even before she was drunk. . It felt like someone had just kicked me in the face, I was so sad, and yet angry cause I still had feelings for her. Its been about three weeks know and I havent talked to her, and Im doing better but I am still pretty bitter about it. I dont care anymore, for all I care I hope bones every person she can find and gets an STD or something

[durnadupa]

She cheated on you twice before?! Damn man, I dunno how you put up with that...
I mean if mine cheated on me and I found out I would never speak to her again, well after a good yelling and screaming, maybe a backhand across the face...
But trust me in the end it will be better for you, it sounded like it was not good at all, so being without her will help you out in the end

[mickd]

I think most younger women nowdays have serious mood swings, at least the ones I had been involved with. One of the reasons I haven't been in a relationship in quite some time. I wish the woman in my life were as good to me as my ti, that car has never let me down in the 9+ years I have owned it. And even if it did break, it could be fixed. I know it probably doesn't help much right now, you will be better off in the long run from your description of the relationship. Take it easy man, sounds like you need a serious outing with the guys. Hope you can make it to the RA get together.

[2ndBimmer]

I dated a girl for 1.5 years myself. She cheated on me right before I was about to propose (Yes, I was that dumb).

That was a terrible scene. I ended up in the psych ward for the night and over the next 3 days lost 10 lbs from not eating.

I should have seen the writing on the wall that she wasnt the one from the beginning. She didnt like the 3 Stooges, didnt know what Star Wars was, and there were a few below the belt issues ill not mention here.

Now not that I would like to run her off the road and piss on the wreckage, then plant a bootheel in her face as she tries to crawl away... you know Im not bitter.

But one thing I can recommened is some easy listening with mr Sam Kinison: the hurt man's hero.

[usagi]

you did the right thing dude. you are better than most too. most guys would go back and start begging (me for one, out of despair). Three weeks is good. Keep it going. You'll find a better one. We all got to go thru that. Always be a man, be a gentleman, don't drop your moral to meet others.

[cali-ti]

there really isn't much anyone can say during such a time, but we'll try anyway pain makes us grow and that's a simple fact. if you have no truly painful times in your life, you won't grow to fill your potential. accept the pain, it'll dull and then be gone in time. the best thing you can do with it is learn from it and carry what you've learned with you. i agree with usagi in taking the high road. you'll only prove you're better than she is and there's no sense in demeaning yourself, you're better than that. what does her calling you all drunk tell you? that she no longer cares one iota about you? ha! quite the opposite. she getting all drunk and fooling around (so she says anyway), but yet she's taking the time to call YOU. too funny. laugh out loud at it, because it's pretty damn pathetic, don't you think?

rack up the experience and take away from it what you WANT and NEED in a relationship. there's no place in a caring and loving relationship for the type of crap that it sounds like you had to put up with. NONE. you should be able to be completely yourself with the one you end up in a long-term relationship with. i'm quite certain i've finally found that. i'm going to be 35 this year. perhaps i'm lucky to have found it as early as i did. imho, high school and college (all your early relationships i guess, regardless of when) are meant to help you determine your likes/dislikes and must haves/can't stands in a relationship. take it as a good painful lesson, all the best ones are. return your friends and hobbies back into your life, but only to once again regain what and who you are, not to avoid feeling the pain. face the pain and allow time to heal it (i don't believe in that "time heals all wounds" at face value ... if you never face the pain, i don't believe it ever goes away). when you go out and hang out without her, think, "hey ... i don't have to do it with her, i don't have to 'check in' or be glued to her ... i can breathe!"

you'll be fine ... you ARE fine. and good job on that strut bar too

[m44ic]

thanks guys for all the support, its good to hear this stuff

[L84THSKY]

Here's my two cents....

I'm 40 years old and divorced. I traveled all the time while in the Air Force stationed in Europe. I NEVER cheated on my wife, even when the marriage was in trouble. I realized it wasn't gonna work, and we got divorced.

Bottom line is....I could have cheated on her, when I was away in Italy, Israel or many other places I spent months at a time. But I wouldn't be getting away with anything. At the end of the day, I would have to look at myself in the mirror and admit that I was a cheating , dishonest husband. I didn't want to go through life with that guilt, so I decided to keep my dignity and get divorced.

My current GF is 27, and I am 40, we have been dating for 2 1/2 years, and have been completely faithful. In the end, you always have to live with your actions, so you fool no one, including yourself, when you do the wrong thing.

Keep your dignity and integrity, and as Spike Lee said....."Do the Right Thing"!

Eric

[MEDIA PUSHER"]

minus the cheating I could swear your talking about my girlfriend.

[96cali]

One word... REBOUND. Get that nasty taste out of your mouth my friend and find yourself a short term, fun relationship. Beauty and brains don't count BTW. Officially you cannot be judged on a rebound girl. Even better if the girl you're with is on the rebound too. Some hot lovin there, just waiting to happen....HOO WAH!!

Kudos for bearing your heart on this board too. Very brave. And I support the advice L84thsky gives- take the high road which it seems you did. Move on. Find something new and constructive like swapping in a 6 cyl!

[bluebastion]

you could also join the nerds and eagerly await the arrival of Episode III!

[aceyx]

m44ic; tough break man, it happens to the best of us. i'd go so far as to say it happens more often to the nice guys, but i can't verify that since i haven't been one for a few years. i mean i still value integrity and loyalty but . . . well, that's a topic to be discussed over a few beers.

i'm with mickd in the "weird with my car" thing, but i can guarantee that if things kept grenading on me, i'd just say that it wasn't worth it at some point and sell it. and then go find a newer model like L84THSKY did.

in all seriousness, sometimes things are more trouble than they're worth, and it's best to move on. get over it first though, because it's not fair to the next girl and if you don't, to some degree she's won.


aside: anyone notice that L8 took the "half plus seven" rule to the T? well done my friend. ;}

[m44ic]

Originally Posted by 96cali

One word... REBOUND. Get that nasty taste out of your mouth my friend and find yourself a short term, fun relationship. Beauty and brains don't count BTW. Officially you cannot be judged on a rebound girl. Even better if the girl you're with is on the rebound too. Some hot lovin there, just waiting to happen....HOO WAH!!

Kudos for bearing your heart on this board too. Very brave. And I support the advice L84thsky gives- take the high road which it seems you did. Move on. Find something new and constructive like swapping in a 6 cyl!

as far as having a guys night out and a rebound, 's Im one step ahead

[Dredder]

You should be glad be cheated on you or else you would have a gf. There are just way too many freaks out there for you to stay home and marinate. This is where your friends come in handy. Get the hell out and start mackin. You can be the ugliest f*cker as long as you know how to talk youll be alright.

[cali-ti]

lol ... can sure tell the "old guys" from the "young punks" on here, lol