[96cali]

So I've just dropped of my daughter at school for lunch (she was home for the morning) and it's pizza friday. I think mmmmmm... pizza. So I'm sort of meandering home trying to find a place to get a pizza hoagie or something portable. I pull into Deweys and circle around trying to find a close spot to park. Big SUV ahead of me (whom I know is exiting) but 15 spaces ahead I see a car pull out. Cool! A space near the front- my lucky day. Not.

As I approach the space I see a blue Saturn Vue whip around the corner going for the space. I see him, wonder if he's goin for the space. Yup.

Sideline- Now keep in mind I am in a super happy mood from the morning with my daughter and I'm ambivalent about Deweys cuz (I've just remembered) they don't serve sandwiches, just pizza and how am I going to eat a pizza in the car?

Back to the Redneck. We're now car to car and he is clearly angry. I see him mouth "f*cking a$$hole!!" to me with a ciggie hanging out the corner of his scruffy maw. I'm like WTF? Why so uptight over a parking space noon on a friday? He parks, I wait and roll down the passenger window. He gets out of his car and slams the door clearly worked up. The following exchange ensues:

Me: (calmly) Hey just so you know I'm not a f*cking a$$hole, I actually saw that space from back there before you turned the corner.
RN: Really!? From way back there!?
Me: Yup
RN: With a car in front of you!?
Me: Yup
RN: Well why don't you just park right over there!?
Me: Cuz I'm enjoying talking to you so much.
RN: Huh?
Me: Nothin.
RN: Why don't you just move your little Bee Em Dubya (waving hands) along now?
Me: I will but just so you know your car is newer and worth more than mine (I'm guessing a 2004-ish Saturn Vue is worth more but it's a guess).
RN: Don't bullsh!t me Ih been a mechanic for 4 years! (he's in his 50's easy)
Me: (sigh) That's great, you're obviously very proud. Have a great life. Enjoy knowing everything.

Sadly, pizza craving gone. Took the twisty way home and enjoyed being a happier person driving something he loves. To make up for his hate I went out of my way to be nice to people getting my tuna hoagie later.